Eulogies and Tributes

Writing a Eulogy

A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral or memorial service honouring the deceased. For some, giving a eulogy may be too painful, especially if the death was unexpected or the deceased is very young. A family friend can give the eulogy instead of a family member, or the celebrant/clergy can do so. Even if the celebrant delivers the eulogy, he or she will ask you questions about the deceased prior to the funeral in order to elaborate on the life and personality of the deceased when giving the eulogy. Alternatively, a family member may write the eulogy and have the celebrant read this on their behalf.

While a eulogy is not mandatory, it can be the most important part of the service. Many attendees may not know the deceased well or may have only known the deceased for a portion of his or her life. A eulogy is an opportunity to share your love for the deceased and shed light on what he/she was like as a person. It also helps those who did know and love the deceased to come to grips with their grief.

For many, giving a eulogy is awkward and uncomfortable. You may find yourself rushing through your speech in an effort to get it over with. Try to resist this urge. Read your eulogy slowly and clearly, so that everyone can hear what you have to say.

Structure of a Eulogy

The key to an effective eulogy is to keep it personal, in a warm, conversational tone. It is advisable to keep anecdotes in an organized chronological order. Family members can be the best resource when writing a eulogy. They can help recall historical events and highlight any other poignant moments or fond memories. Photos, social media accounts and the deceased’s home/belongings help portray who they were as a person. Avoid any disrespectful or embarrassing stories about the deceased. These may be better recalled in private conversations.  

A eulogy should be 5 – 10 minutes in duration. Keep it concise, and practice reading the eulogy to ensure it is not too long. A written eulogy helps to keep you focused and on topic.  A larger font is easier to follow/refer to. Consider attendees who may have taken time off work to attend the funeral and may be limited on time.

Eulogy Outline

• Opening remarks
  Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the deceased.
• Acknowledgements
  • Immediate family members may thank people for attending, especially those who have travelled.
  • Non-family speakers may offer condolences to the family.
  • Acknowledge those unable to attend who may be joining via livestream.
• Early life
  Mention parents, place of birth, schooling, siblings, and early years.
• Significant life events
  Education, career, marriage, children, achievements, close friends, and loved pets.
• Interests and contributions
  Hobbies, talents, community involvement, service roles, clubs, or affiliations.
• Personal anecdotes
  Share meaningful stories that reflect the person’s character. Gentle humour is welcome if appropriate and respectful.
• Faith and values (if applicable)
  Acknowledge religious beliefs or spiritual commitments.
• Legacy and influence
  Reflect on how the deceased influenced others or served as a role model.
• Closing words
  Offer comfort, a heartfelt message, and a final farewell.

Writing a Tribute

A tribute is usually 2–3 minutes long and focuses on expressing respect and admiration for the deceased.

• Begin by introducing yourself and how you knew the deceased.
• Choose a specific focus for your tribute and, if possible, coordinate with other speakers to avoid repeating stories.
• Each speaker should share a personal memory:
  • A work colleague may share a professional memory.
  • A teammate or hobby group member may reflect on shared experiences.
• Conclude with a message of support for the family or a farewell to the deceased.